1. I want to see my daughter through her last year of middle school.
2. I want to sing Mozart's Mass in C minor with my current choral group.
Why these two things? Completion. Resolution.
I don't want my daughter uprooted from her current school routines. It feels so much smoother and kinder to let her finish where she is. Then, when she begins high school, which will feel like a whole new world wherever we are -- that's the time for fresh beginnings. That's the time to start something new.
The choral performance seems like a comparatively smaller thing, but it is important to me. We've been in rehearsals for a month now. The concert is in mid-April. Our director, in one of his impassioned moments, has told us that we will not be the same people after we perform this piece. (I am trusting that he means we will be better people. Or richer, at least. Deeper. Truer. Maybe just more.)
My partner has been out of work for over four months now. He's applying for jobs all over the place. There are so many things that we don't know.
It helps, somehow, to focus on some of the things that I do know. To know what I want, and to let myself want it.